I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
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