That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
