So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize
