Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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