if i can run in heels then i can drive
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I need a beard to bite.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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