i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Randomize
