Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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