I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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