i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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