This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
