I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
