jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
nutella sex= disaster
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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