please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
