You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
