Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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