I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
