Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
