i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
