I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Randomize
