whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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