Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
