Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Randomize
