Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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