You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
