My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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