I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
