He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
