Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I supernannyed him into submission
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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