Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
