you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
