You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
