talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
