What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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