New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
