i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
