she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
