ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I can feel your judgement through the phone
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
