I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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