please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
