She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
