omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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