Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
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