ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
My vagina is officially offended.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
