That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
