Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
