im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
