Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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