you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
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