Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
