As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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